Enter the Present Moment and Connect with your Masculine Core

masculine polarity

Hank Moody (Californication), is a great example of a character that lives in the moment and is deeply connected to his masculine core. Great show by the way.

You’re at the bar with your buddies and there are cute girls all around you. You spot one you like, you want to go up and talk to her, but quickly the fear of rejection penetrates your mind like a dagger. Next thing you know, your mind has spit up a series of justifications for why you shouldn’t talk to her.

Perhaps it’s because she’s out of your league, or that she probably has a boyfriend, it’s too loud in the bar, or that approaching girls isn’t who you are….. Your mind cycles between all these various false rationalizations and picks one to let you off the hook.

Why is it doing this? Are these valid excuses? Definitely not. Your mind is protecting your fragile little ego that likes to keep its identity intact. An identity that would be destroyed if rejected. The first step to creating the life you want is to take responsibility for everything in your life.

If you give yourself an excuse, you will quickly become a man of excuses. There will always be a reason and someone or something to blame for why you didn’t take action. I say enough with that! Enough lying to ourselves.

When those excuses and thoughts enter your mind, you must observe them and you must treat them like the voice and antics of a little child, without any judgement. When you observe your thoughts, you no longer become identified with them, and because of this your ego is no longer able to grip onto these thoughts and use them for it’s own survival.

You begin to let go of your ego, and as it slips away you enter a state of pure inner freedom and you become in touch with your inner masculine core. You have transmuted your negative emotions and fear of approach into presence power and positive energy. This is when approaching a cute girl at a bar or anywhere for that matter, finally becomes as natural and as enjoyable as it should be.

“You were trapped but now you are free”

As you make eye contact with the girl, you feel connected with your natural inner desires, accepting the only thing that matters, the present moment. If she walks away or tells you she’s uninterested, it hardly makes any difference to your sense of self.

In fact, she could completely shut you down and guess what? It wouldn’t matter, in fact you’d probably find it amusing more than anything. This is because you’re not seeking validation or an ego boost by getting a pretty girl to show interest in you.

You already feel complete and full within and because of this you’re free of any outcome. Therefore you can fully enjoy being yourself and you can share that energy with those around you, including the pretty girl you chat up.

As you talk to her she will sense this real, raw energy about you. From the way you listen to her and the way you talk and express yourself she will sense that you’re not trying to take anything from her.

You’re not seeing her as a object to give you a more complete and full sense of self. You’re simply enjoying the moment and being self amused, finding the fun and hilarious in everything. This makes the girl feel comfortable around you and at ease.

This Is What Happens When You See A Girl Though The Lens Of Your Ego

Your ego sees the stunning girl as superior to you and objectifies her and put’s her up on a pedestal. The ego thinks, “man, if I can get this girl to like me, then I’ll be enough, then I’ll feel good.” The ego tells you that you need to impress her and that you need to make yourself seem cooler than you are, because how could she ever like the real you?

And when it’s time to really talk to her, the ego thinks you must say something really cool otherwise this girl will lose interest. Because of this, you’re probably at a loss of words, unable spit anything up. If you do manage to string words together it invariably comes across really try hard and forced.

You must see the girl while being present and in touch with your inner being and your masculine core. This way when you see the girl there’s no fear and no excuses, taking action is who you are at your very essence.

Furthermore, you don’t see the girl as superior or inferior to you. You communicate to her as a man to a woman and there’s no need to try to attract her. Attraction is assumed. This makes it very easy to keep the conversation flowing because you’re no longer filtering what to talk about.

When you don’t try to impress and when you don’t try to put on a shtick, you’re communicating to the girl that you’re congruent, that you’re being who you are. This is immensely attractive and immediately you will have separated yourself from every other guy and subsequently girls will think there’s so much more to you than what’s on the surface.

They will be intrigued, drawn in and hooked. If you’ve ever watched Californication, this is exactly the way Hank Moody carries himself.

What’s The Best Way To Put It Into To Action?

The ability to stay present in life and to communicate from your masculine core takes practice and training. It requires you to be extremely self aware of the thoughts in your head and the stories you tell yourself. You must start to separate the truth from the lies.

If you see that girl you really like, you must understand that your mind will tell you not to approach, you must accept this and you must push past this. The more you do this the stronger your ability to disconnect from the mind, become present and take action will become. Soon you will lose touch with your ego and you will learn to act from a place of masculine intent.

To be able to quickly access the ‘power of now’, I recommend immersing yourself in the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, applying his lessons to your everyday life as much as possible. This will train you to be able to spend more time in the present moment and to become less identified with your ego.

The deeper you become present in your day to day life, the quality of everything and everyone around you changes. This is really the most effective form of meditation. To look at the entire day as an opportunity to connect with being and to become present.

The best way to start is by listening to practicing the power of now for 20-30 minutes each day. Give your fullest and undivided attention to Tolle. I often listen to the audio while going for walks. This has had a profound effect on my ability to stay present, live in the moment and to take effortless action.

16 Comments

  1. TYj on March 11, 2015 at 11:55 pm

    THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

  2. Jack Tyler on October 19, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    I just think you hit a nerve in people with this article. You know, 99% of people enter in gym and in this ”bodybuilding” culture and rules and supplements things cause they really dont have a happy fulfilling life.

    ITS THE truth but no one likes to talk about it.

    Greg, if you can, I will read, write more about how to get more of life, I appreciate.

    Regars,
    Jack Tyler

  3. Jim on October 18, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    Whats up, awesome article. I have some questions though. I am having some trouble fully disconnecting from my thoughts and embracing the moment. Also how can I make sure no opportunity goes unmissed? Such as speaking to a girl you like haha.

    Thanks

    • Greg on October 18, 2013 at 6:34 pm

      Almost everyone has this issue Jim. Start listening to practicing the power of now. It will help you get in touch with your presence and be able to use your mind and not become used by it. Try to catch yourself thinking. Once you realize you’re not present, you become present. Do this several times and eventually you’ll be able to hold that stillness and really enjoy the moment and let it sink in.

  4. umberto on October 18, 2013 at 6:31 am

    greg I have a problem I’m working on… I tend to push happyness forward when trying to reach a goal, forgetting to appreciate what I already have too…. I know it sounds stupid, but do you have any tip on how to be happy with what you already achieved, while obviously keep trying to reach goals.. (don’t worry, I still think ambition is the Engine of life, but in order to be always happy I think u should appreciate what u already have too… —> just wondering if u had some tips to do that)

    • Greg on October 18, 2013 at 12:14 pm

      Basically learn to embrace everything that you already have. Accept everything in your life and then you can go about working towards a goal but you won’t be doing so to make you happy.
      As well, I’d recommend practicing some form of meditation and not letting yourself compulsively think too much. Try to bring your energy into the present moment at times. Even if you’re doing simple stuff, it helps to focus heavily on what you’re doing.

    • Greg on October 17, 2013 at 4:11 pm

      haha that was quite amusing! I actually really like the show Hello Ladies, it’s an absolute riot.

      • Laurence on October 17, 2013 at 7:08 pm

        Ha it certainly is, Stephen Merchant is bloody hilarious!

  5. robert on October 15, 2013 at 10:53 am

    Greg,

    You provide great and sound training and diet advice. For a young guy, I’m impressed by how seriously you take it and the solid and free material you provide. I am definitely thankful for that. I’ve purchases one of your e-books and find it’s a sound training resource.

    But please don’t go too far the way of Nate Green and John Romaniello who now try to hawk everything they do into some lame Rules of the Game, Power of Now psychological treatise with the simple goal of bedding females.

    Not that I don’t think there is something to be gained from living in the moment, positive thinking, and meditative states, and hey, who doesn’t like to cop a fit bird here and there….but I personally feel that the two aforementioned people have diluted themselves into Rules of the Game / Working Out / Tim Ferris Wannabe guys. They are butter spread too thin. Width without depth.

    Like I said, you haven’t gone too much this route and you do seem to be very thoughtful and self-aware for a young guy. But bear in mind that specialization leads to greatness (I’m sure you’ve read the 10,000 hours theory for mastery), where as dabbling in everything can lead to mediocrity (Crossfit).

    I don’t want to take away from what you have accomplished. Frankly, it’s excellent. Maybe you’ll write this off as the rantings of an anonymous internet loon. But I think it’s worthwhile to consider only because of all of the in depth quality material you have provided so far.

    • Greg on October 16, 2013 at 3:37 pm

      I appreciate your feedback. Now obviously kinobody isn’t going to regress into a site about picking up hot chicks. Fitness and Nutrition will always be the main thing. But I think my readers will appreciate the switch off in content.. Plus, there’s more regular content now than probably in any time in the past.

      I’ll be treating this section more like a blog. I’m not going to try to be some expert or anything like that. But rather I’ll be sorting out the best instructors and coaches in this field and sharing their strategies, getting guest posts and posting their videos. As well, I’ll be testing what works best and focusing on the main theme of this section which is taking action.

      There’s so much convolution and over thinking in this area that I want to cut through the bs and provide solid actionable advice while also learning to honestly express ones self. Not becoming a man of gimmicks, lines and canned stuff. The RSD guys (real social dynamics) are totally awesome, I really dig their stuff. Also big into some of the other guys like Yad (daygame.com) he has a pure love for life and connecting with women.

  6. Jean-Michel on October 15, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Great read Greg! I’d justl ike you to give us some exemples of how to approach a cute women in different occasions, if you have any staples or ideas. I know it’s pretty subjective and on-the-spot normally, but well, I’m still asking!

    • Greg on October 15, 2013 at 7:35 pm

      Yah for sure! Want to cover a few other topics first like body language, eye contact and vocal tonality then I’ll probably share some infield videos of the top dating coaches and breakdown what they’re doing.

  7. john on October 13, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    you just opened my eyes, thank you so much man.

  8. john on October 13, 2013 at 7:52 am

    all that you are saying is right and true , i used to fear rejection but now i don’t but there is still one problem left , i am still afraid to approch because if i got rejected my friends will laugh at me and i will feel totally embaressed and stupid and i will feel so bad about myself , so if you have any cure please let me know , thanks.

    • Greg on October 13, 2013 at 1:22 pm

      That’s your ego talking. You must let go of this egoic need to be cool and awesome and to never make mistakes. That is exactly what will hold you back and stop you from taking action. Every guy is going to get rejected by girls, even the guys with the best ‘game’. Who cares! The more girls you approach and talk to, the better you will get and the better your results will be.

      Do your friends even approach? If they’re not even talking to girls, then clearly they’d only tease you because they’re jealous you had the balls to step up. Anyone can stand in a corner and critique everyone else. Very few people can actually take action.

      I suggest making your only criteria for success whether or not you took action. As long as you approach the girl then guess what, you won! Regardless of how the interaction goes, if you’re taking action and approaching, it’s only a matter of time before you’re going to get great results and improve your success with women.

      Learn to love getting blown out by girls! Learn from your mistakes and come back each time more centred, present and more congruent.

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