Van Wilder maintains a heightened emotional state of effortless attraction by always being the life of the party and keeping his energy high
Entering Into the Flow State
In the first couple lifestyle posts I talked about taking action, misidentifying from the mind and entering a state of deep presence. This is some really powerful stuff that will transform your life in every way possible. In today’s post I want to talk about creating positive momentum and entering into that flow state where attraction is effortless.
What you must understand is that your ability to be your best self and to be completely unstifled, charismatic and attractive is dependent on the emotional state that you’re in. I don’t care if you have horrific game, if you’ve been talking to girls all night long and are unattached from your ego and completely carefree, girls will be throwing themselves at you left, right and center.
To the contrary, you could have killer game but if you’ve been playing video games for three days straight and you decide to hit the bars, your game will be off. You’ll be completely out of state and you will come off contrived when talking to girls.
Therefore, it’s important that you boost your state up whenever you want to start approaching girls. Working out, healthy eating, adequate sleep and meditation are all incredibly effective at keeping you alert, centered and focused. However, to really blast into a state of effortless attraction you need to start building up momentum by talking to several girls when you’re out at a social venue.
What you’ll notice is that the first few approaches of the night might be a little weak and then BAM! You’ve hit the flow state, you’re high energy, you’re present (not stuck in your head) and you’re centered within yourself.
You see a girl and you just walk up to her and start chatting her up and next thing you know she can’t get enough of you. This isn’t your normal default state, but rather this is an intense and bad ass state that you ramp into by being social, positive and in the moment.
Shift Your Outlook on Approaching Women
For this to work, you must completely shift your outlook on approaching women. You see most guys put immense amounts of pressure on themselves when they’re about to approach a girl. They’re worried about getting rejected and looking like a fool and they’re stuck in their head thinking what they should say and if she’ll like them.
To get into the flow state you must lose yourself. You must stop with the obsessive need to seem cool and james bond like and keep some egoic identity intact. You must be willing to make a complete fool out of yourself and laugh it off. When I approach a girl I make my only criteria for success that I took action.
I don’t care if I’m blown out, if I took action and chatted the girl up then I’m happy. I also look for the amusement in everything. I find ways to joke around and boost my own state up. Being self amused and carefree is a dangerous combination and one which girls can’t resist.
This method forces you to tie your emotional state to taking action and being carefree. It’s not dependent on how people respond to you and how much validation you get. You’re drawing your state from within and this is one of the most attractive and useful qualities.
When you’re no longer seeking validation and you’re completely free of outcome, then you can have a beautiful interaction. There’s no hidden agenda, you’re not trying to preserve some identity and you’re not trying to get an ego fix.
When a girl can sense that a guy is unstifled, unattached to his ego and free of outcome, it’s like a breath of fresh air and they’re immediately drawn in. This is because girls are used to guys trying to get their validation.
Tyler’s Top Secret for Fine Tuned Social Momentum
Tyler Durden from Real Social Dynamics is an absolute master in attraction, social dynamics and taking action. This video is absolutely epic! It’s close to 18 minutes long but it’s packed with value.
Tyler get’s into the specifics as to why social momentum is so important and why you need to start approaching girls to get into state.
I hope you guys have been enjoying these articles and finding them valuable. In the up coming episodes I will be talking about body language, eye contact and vocal projection/tonality. If you’re big into movies you’ll notice that actors are very well skilled in these things and it’s probably why they’re usually considered to be so attractive. Also post your comments below offering your feedback and if you’d like to hear about anything in particular in the future.